How do I find a Woman: Don’t smell like Deer Pee
by willowcreek | on April 10, 2012

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How do I find a Woman: Get out of the blind
As a general rule, and in my experience woman prefer a man that is clean, smells good and looks nice. You are not quite going to capture this if you just came out of the woods from whitetail hunting smelling like deer pee.
If your underwear will stand up by them selves in a corner, or if your teeth have more moss on them than the rainforests of Washington, chances are the only female you will be attracting is like maybe a big foot, gorilla or Thelma, you don’t want Thelma…….
The hair on your face is fine, woman have all sorts of likes and dislikes here, just keep it clean trimmed and not looking like you just slept in puke last night. You got to have a little respect for yourself.……
How do I find a Woman: Clean your act up, it’s your only hope…
Woman also like it when your freshly showered, what I mean is , at least get the big chunks off……..
Then you take it a step further and shave, teeth, nose hairs, eyebrows, the works, you know….. Then slap on some bug juice, good bug juice….
This is only going to be effective if she can smell you over the dead shrimp in your fishing vest that you forgot to take out from behind your seat in your pickup. This is where you may be thinking a touch more class would really help……. Just get the dead crap out of your truck and spray some fabreez on the carpets and upholstery, make sense?
Now I know right now what you’re thinking, camouflage goes with everything.
This will be great if you are taking out Betty Joe, I would just be real careful of here Pa…….
Chances are you may want to try to look as sick as possible when it comes to your threads. I got that expression “sick” from my kids,
It means really cool ……. Heck I thought we were still using groovy ….. “The Times they are a Changing”….
“How do I find a Woman”: Try to look as sick as possible
Keep the cowboy boots with the silver toes and heals in the closet for now, like hide em for a while. Jeans are great if they are pretty new, Sports jacket or something along those lines will be fine…. Don’t wear the bowling shoes you stole last night at Monticarlo, there most definitely are shoes or sneakers that look good.
If you hear the expression “Did your mother dress you” this will be the second indication your ensemble was not thought out good enough, the first will be the laughter…….. Just go back to the drawing board and take another stab at it.
If I didn’t understand the depth of your handicap as well as I do, I would be more upset…..
I know your not going to be any good when you just start doing something the first time, have patience with yourself, and if you have a sister about your age ask her, I feel this is your only hope.
“How do I find a Woman”: Don’t make me talk to Thelma
Thanks for reading this, if you would comment or tweet, that would be cool.
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–Al
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