Empower Network

If we could talk to the animals

Talking to a Tiger

If we could talk to the animals, just imagine it
Chatting to a chimp in chimpanzee
Imagine talking to a tiger, chatting to a cheetah
What a great achievement that would be

Are you kidding?
What do you mean “IF?”
You should hear Kora when she is cuddling the cats
“Come here Fudgy boy, I’ll comb your hair”
and the cats respond by jumping on her lap and
continue with a purr, and a puuurrrrr, and a puuuuuurrrrrrrrr
and close their eyes and bask with the brushing of their fur.
Now that’s how you talk to the animals
and I’m sure a similar tale unfolds in many households.

How would you talk to the animals

If we could talk to the animals, learn their languages
Maybe take an animal degree
We’d study elephant and eagle, buffalo and beagle
Alligator, guinea pig and flea

So what’s new in this verse?
There are many people taking animal degrees nowadays.
Look at all the zookeepers who talk to the animals, and the documentaries
about elephants and eagles, buffalos and beagles,
even alligators, guinea pigs, and fleas.

But Fleas?
Please!

Oops, sorry.
Don’t remember seeing any docos on fleas!
Or have I missed something?
And are they really animals?
What good do they do for the environment!
Talk to the animals! Please, not fleas!

Conversational talk to the animals

We would converse in polar bear and python
And we could curse in fluent kangaroo
If people asked us, can you speak in rhinoceros
We’d say “Of courserous, can’t you?”

Now I confess to not being familiar with polar bears
but pythons? some friends keep pythons as pets!
Tell me how do you show your endearment to a python?
And how would you converse with one?
Instead of “kitty kitty”, would it be “hiss, hiss, hisss!”

Oh! and we do have a small coiled stone rattlesnake
sitting comfortably in a flower pot by our front door.
You should see mailmen, salesmen, visitors
knocking on our front door,
then looking around while waiting for us to answer
and then suddenly jumping 10 feet away
when they spy our friendly guard snake in a pot.
They obviously have no wish to talk to the animals.

As for cursing in fluent kangaroo,
hooray for us aussies, makes us feel right at home
but keep us away from those rhinoceros,
of courserous, they scare the shit out of us.
But it could be worse. If you really want to talk to the animals
Just leave the Hippopotomus alone!

Dialog: Talk to the animals; Really?

If we could talk to the animals, learn their languages
Think of all the things we could discuss
If we could walk with the animals, talk with the animals
Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals
And they could squeak and squawk and speak and talk to us!

I concede that the human race could learn a lot
if we could just talk to the animals
but not in command language, or sly entreating language.
If only we could talk to the animals and learn from them
humbly,
on what it takes to live with
Love for each other
Respect for each other
Tolerance for each other
Patience with each other
Help for each other
Loyalty to each other.

Talk to the animals – why should they talk with us?

Yes, it’s one thing for us humans to talk to the animals
But why should they squeak and squawk and talk with us?
What’s in it for them?
Can they really learn something useful about life
from discourse with the human race.

I suspect, if the song were the other way,
“If we could talk to the human race”
The animals’ verses might be entirely different.

If we could talk to the human race, can’t imagine it
Trying to get some sense in all those fools
Imagine chatting with all those dickheads
Trying to show them kindness
What a great encumbrance that would be

But that’s just a teaser
For another blog
This time from the animals

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