“When I asked for your help, you answered.” Psalm 138:3
Personal testimony and spiritual journey
I became a prayerful child to a God I didn’t know out of necessity by the age of 5. I was abused both physically and emotionally by my older sister who was 10 years my senior. I didn’t know where else to turn. I would ask God to prevent what happened to me from happening to another child. I asked God specifically to never allow my sister to have children. She never did. Despite the fact my family worshipped idols, I was sent to a Lutheran private school until the age of 10. While I was in Christian school, I was exposed to the Word of God where I believe the seed of Truth was first planted. But the concept of having a personal relationship with the God of the universe was never mentioned. I also grew up witnessing my mother being possessed by “spirits”, swallowing burning incense and glass, and even forewarning us of upcoming events and other strange behaviors. It made me feel very peculiar and for that reason I desperately wanted to be “normal”.
When I was 10, my mother and I immigrated to the United States from Hong Kong to reunite with my father and 2 older brothers. During my teenage years, I experimented with drinking and became an incessant liar in order to be with my so-called “friends”. I witnessed many of my peers engaging in fornication (premarital sex) in their early teens as the “norm”. As a result, I spiraled down the path of destruction and lost my virginity at the age of 22. I paid heavily for my destructive lifestyle and ended up having two abortions in my early twenties. I was an outwardly happy person who appeared to have a myriad of things going for me, but inwardly I was disillusioned, depressed and suicidal. Life seemed shallow and meaningless to me.
In college I was a philosophy major and would constantly question everything I believe. But the more I searched for truth, the more I was pulled back to Christ. I was reintroduced to Jesus Christ when I was a sophomore in college by a classmate in my theatre class. Despite the fact that I was quite ignorant of the Word of God other than Bible stories, I was asked to go out and fish for “men” and start one on one Bible study immediately with the people I find. Needless to say, I was neither spiritually mature nor knowledgeable to do so. Eventually I was told that the missionaries would pray for me to let me know who I should marry. That scared me away and as a result, I left them.
Shortly after that, my father was murdered in Washington, D.C. on February 15, 1993 at the age of 72. I resented God for not taking my life instead. It took me some time before I was able to forgive the murderer for taking my father’s life. It was a spiritually challenging time for me because the Holy Spirit convicted me that I must forgive in order to be forgiven. When I eventually made the decision to ask God to forgive me for having an unforgiving spirit and for my initial bitterness and anger towards Him, a great burden was at last lifted from me.
Finally, in 1999, I had a life-changing conversation with Cissie Lee, my customer whom I met through the restaurant I owned and operated in Annapolis, Maryland. Cissie was over 80 years old at the time and through her influence I was brought back to my gracious Lord. I got on my knees and prayed in her living room and invited Jesus Christ into my life and my heart. I began my personal relationship with Jesus.
In retrospect, I’ve come to the realization that my salvation is entirely by grace alone through Jesus Christ. I am constantly overwhelmed by the unconditional love and grace God showers on me. I’ve also come to realize more and more what a filthy rag I was and yet the Lord is still able to make me as white as snow by the blood he shed on the cross for me over 2000 years ago.
Galatians 2:21 really spoke to me: “I do not set aside the grace of God; for if righteousness comes through the law, then Christ died in vain.”
Today not only do I possess the riches that only comes at the cost of my precious Lord’s blood but also a family through Empower Network that supports and encourages you to learn and earn. You can have it too, just ASK!
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7
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