Empower Network

Why don’t people understand me when I try to explain something important to them? That’s a question we all wonder about from time to time, right?

It’s easy to get disheartened, frustrated, even angry, when you talk with someone and they just don’t seem to get it. Maybe you’re explaining a better way to handle a dispute, fix a relationship, make a sale, or fix a golf swing.

You might have what you believe to be excellent personal knowledge, education or training on the subject, but it doesn’t seem to matter. They still don’t understand you, even after you’ve done your sincere best.

Why Don’t People Understand Me? Imagine A Tomato Plant

Imagine you are trying to grow a beautiful, productive tomato plant. You love tomatoes. You know tomatoes are terrific for your health. So you want lots and lots of them to eat raw and to use in your favorite recipes. You want even more to serve to your family and friends… and to give away to people you want admiring your green thumb.

Lee Abbott "Always Giving Away My Secrets"

You plant the perfect seed, water it, and wait. But it just doesn’t seem to come out right. It grows slowly, looks sickly and only produces two tomatos that never quite mature.

Do you blame the tomato plant? Or do you look at its diet and its environment – like the soil, available sunlight, weather, bugs… Doesn’t it make sense to NOT blame the tomato plant, but instead to look at everything that affects the plant?

The same holds true for people. Each individual is shaped by their environment. So, when you wonder… why don’t people understand me when I try to explain something important… take a step back for a moment and think about it.

People develop their realities, their biases, their perspective and their blind spots based on the input their brains have received over their entire lifetime. They could be affected by their education, their experiences, the opinions of their close friends, their family, their values, their religion or even some tragedy you’re not aware of.

Why Don’t People Understand Me – The Reality

The reality is, it’s sort of like being a sales person. You approach many people before you are able to persuade someone to buy from you. Often, it’s a just a matter of talking with the right person at the right time. Sometimes you see it coming and sometimes you don’t.

If you are trying to sell a home heating unit to someone who just bought a new one for $12,000 last year, how successful do you think you’ll be? What if they never bothered to give you that tidbit of info? Who’s fault is it that you didn’t make the sale? Hmmm…

If you try to help someone mend a relationship with a person who reminds them of an abusive uncle, who should you blame if they don’t come around?

The answer to the question “Why don’t people understand me when I try to explain something important?” is that you may never know.

Why Don’t People Understand Me – What Can You Do?

You cannot expect to know everyone completely. There will always be information that you are missing. You don’t really know how their experiences, values and belief systems will affect the way they interpret your information.

Do your best to customize your approach to the person you are talking with based on your personal knowledge about them. Then realize that they may or may not be persuaded. It’s not their fault, and it’s not your fault. It’s just the way life is.

Now this information is in YOUR knowledge base. I hope it will help when you are tempted to become frustrated as you ask yourself the question “why don’t people understand me when I try to explain something important?”

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