Empower Network

How To Achieve Likability Is Skill And One Of The Leadership Traits That Top Leaders Posses

“Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go”   —   Oscar Wilde

When you are liked; when you are likable, you will be able to become that leader who can enchant others to follow and isn’t that one of the great leadership traits?

Let’s build a foundation to implement enchantment. The first step is to achieve likability. Face it; jerks seldom enchant people.

The place to start is first impressions. There are four factors you need to master in order to create a good one: your smile, your dress, your handshake and your vocabulary.

Your Enchanting Smile

Smile at people. What does it cost to smile?  — Nothing — What does it cost not to smile? — Everything, when it prevents you from connecting with people. While smiling sends a very clear message about your state of mind. not smiling can have many interpretations, including, grumpiness, aloofness and anger. I think to smile is the most important characteristic of the great leadership traits.

If you don’t consider your smile as a useful tool consider this

•  Do you like to do business with unhappy people/
• do you know anyone that does?
• Do you think unhappy people get what they want

One key to a great smile is to think pleasant thoughts. If you are unhappy inside the best you are going to do is a fake smile, and fake smiles can be detected a mile away. And a fake smile won’t make people like you.

Here’s why – a fake smile uses only the zygomatic major muscle. It’s easy to control this muscle so it leads to that fake smile. A great smile uses the orbicularis muscle as well. This is the muscle that surrounds the eyes, and it makes you squint and produce crow’s feet. A good smile is so special that it has its own name – the Duchenne smile.

So when you meeting people think pleasant thoughts, use that orbicularis muscle, and make crow’s feet (laugh lines) as deep as you can.

Don’t over Dress

You want to dress to the same standard as the people you want to like you. Overdressing says, “I’m richer, more powerful and more important than you”. Under dressing says, ” I don’t respect you, I’ll dress any way that I please.” Common dressing says, “We’re peers”. The goal is likability – not superiority.

Having said that, your dress shouldn’t conflict with what you stand for. Another of those great leadership traits.

Also, except for cases where doing so is corporate suicide, dressing a manner that makes you feel comfortable. It sere is hard to enchant people when you are uncomfortable. And just maybe most will find something enchanting about a person who is who she is and lets it rip.

Do You Have The Perfect Handshake?

The third of these leadership traits that is important for first impressions is your handshake. Here’s how in plain English.

• Make eye contact throughout.
• Utter an appropriate verbal greeting.
• Smile a Duchenne smile.
• Grip the persons hand and give it a firm squeeze.
• Stand at a moderate distance from the other person. Not too close for comfort or too far away so you seem detached.
• Make sure your hand is cool, dry and smooth.
• Use a medium level of vigor
• Hold the handshake for no longer than two are three seconds.

Words – Use The Right Ones

The wrong words can give the wrong impression.Your vocabulary is the facial expression of your mind, communicating your attitude, personality and perspective. So here are some recommendations.

• Use simple words – if people don’t know the big words you use, you have lost. Heed this Danish proverb “Big words seldom accompany good deeds.”
• Use an active voice – Consider the impact of these two phrases: “Use the right words” vs “The right words should be used by you”. The passive voice is wimpy and inferior. To be an enchanter you use the active voice.
• Keep it short – Don’t worry about being too short. Interested people will ask for more  information. If they are not interested why waste four time.
• Use common, clear analogies – Forget about war analogies, sports are effective but can be country specific. Use analogies that are specific to the culture of your audience. A safe bet is to stick to common ones involving kids and family life.

The choice of words is often overlooked when people present themselves. One of the great leadership traits is to use words wisely.

Your comments and shares are welcome.  Watch This Video on Trust Values and Beliefs

So there you have it – the great leadership traits for a first impression – smile, dress, handshake and your words.