Empower Network

The plan for my morning was to sleep in however I lay in bed with thoughts of writing. I just had to get these thoughts out of my head…  As I look out the door I see that it’s foggy and have to open the door to smell the fresh air… awww it’s a little cool outside but damp so I’m guessing writing outside is out of the question. I make myself a pot of coffee, the Kona coffee I picked up yesterday, it tastes pretty good. Now that I’m settled here writing I’m almost lost for words… go back to the awakening of the morning… the urge to write.. yes there it is.

It’s Christmas Eve, although this year is like none other; no kids in the house, no baking or cooking on the agenda, only David and I to do as we please. Funny, the last thing he said before going to bed was that we would work out first thing in the morning, before breakfast. Guess a mug of fresh ground coffee and the tapping of fingers on the laptop keyboard is as much exercise as I’m getting first thing this morning, as David sleeps peacefully in the bedroom. Well the morning is typically for him it seems as he’s not a morning person which I’ve also turned out to be. So why am I up so early? This then brings me back to my true intentions of writing. What happened to me? I use to be an early riser, worked out 4 times a week, daily household chores, getting kids to and fro from school or activities, shopping, cooking, working sometimes two jobs, and somewhere in between everything, deep passionate love making. But here I am with no-one to take care of but me. And although this sounds really awesome, what do I do? This brings me back to the question of, what happened to me. When it really seems I should be saying hello me and how do you do? Almost like resurfacing the soul. So here I am ready to serve me!

Just yesterday I was crying after a discussion with my daughter over the phone. I had made BIG plans for the Christmas holiday. My son and his girlfriend have been financially struggling, which so many have during the recession, and I really wanted the day to be special for my grandchildren. I mean Christmas is all about the children, right? They need to have that special feeling inside, the one that reminds us adults that there is still magic within ourselves, the kind that truly believes that there’s something bigger than us, something God like, stirring the magical pot of universal love, caring, giving, and receiving with no strings attached. But my BIG plans seemed to be shattering around me, or so I thought. Yesterday I had a really big moment of letting go, the kind of letting go that makes you realize something for yourself, not someone or something else but for self. Sure I would love to have my day surrounded by family, fun, food, and talk but today, I realize that the universe opened this day up for me to see that I can turn my energies and focus on me, rather than everyone else.

This year I planned way ahead of schedule with Christmas decorating starting the week before Thanksgiving, our annual holiday party the first weekend of December, filling in other holiday events throughout the December month, with cookie exchange the weekend before Christmas and all my shopping done early, well I did go out yesterday for stocking stuffers. Guess I just needed to have that feeling of the mad rush that happens just before Christmas Day and I must say, it felt rather relaxing. I could feel the tension with so many others, but me, I felt like a feather drifting in the wind. I even had a few people ask why I wasn’t stressed and my thought was, well you should have seen me earlier when I had a tear jerking party in my bathroom earlier. But that moment passed and now I realize it was needed, it felt good to release and let go.

So again, here I am on Christmas Eve morning with no agenda, but rather a day that opened up for me to be me. I’ve recently realized how I’ve let myself go, yes we’ve all done this or said this but do we really do something about it? I’ve been thinking a lot about taking better care of myself and my health. I’ve always been there for the children, husband, family, work, but not for myself. It’s now that time! I use to do Feng Shui and Live Your Intention workshops but well, the recession hit and I put these on hold to help my husband with his passion of starting his own civil engineering company, yeah just before the big hit of the recession. And I don’t want to dismiss this as a stumbling block in my life because I learned much through this adventure but it was now time to get back into the groove of my passion. My intention is to be the true nature of self, giving unto myself, caring for self, and learning more about my inner self. I could focus in on one aspect of my life like my career, creativity, knowledge, love or wealth but without good empowering health all these aspects would fail. So this is where I’m going to dedicate the next month, to my health and inner self.

Sometime back I wrote a blog titled, “Feng Shui and Our Bodies” which covers a bit about how each sector of the bagua is related to an area of our bodies. I was drawn back to this blog, and although I wrote it and was really feeling it at that time in my life, I again question, what happened to me? According to the Feng Shui bagua, the health sector is located in the middle of the space you occupy or work and it’s also related to the mid section of the body, and oh boy I’m feeling it in my mid-section,you know that icky stuff called FAT! The health sector revolves around everything in the home or office and in your life. With this sector related to the element of earth it’s no wonder I’m feeling like I need to start here within my own life. Earth is what grounds us, connecting us to everything around us, looking within self and becoming centered. Here I sit, knowing and understanding this is where I need to start with a new journey in my life, and although New Years is just around the corner, I’m starting today on Christmas Eve. But I’m not going to just jump in thinking I need to exercise two hours today and push away those tasty Christmas cookies, NO! I’ve already started a beautiful day by taking time to write and next up, mediation time, and I don’t mean an hour of sitting in still motion but rather a time to sit, breathe, and envision my intentions. I use to do this every day but somewhere along the time line of everyday life, it was misplaced with doing, doing, doing instead of being, being, being. Till tomorrow……

Kandi Phillips
www.kandiphillips.com
www.liveyourintention.com
www.awakenyourspace.com

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kandi-Phillips/299215779047