Empower Network

So What About Blended Families?

Hey guys I really don’t know honestly where this is going. I decided to share a little bit of myself and some of the people I know with you. Now some of this may be actual and there will be some fiction involved while writing about blended families.

So to begin this “episode” I never even heard the term Blended Families until after I was in one. Would that have changed anything as relates to my relationship? Nope, not a thing. I’m pretty sure though that I would have been a lot better equipped to handle some of the challenges that come along with blended families. I’m also fairly certain that having some type of heads up would have better equipped me in my role as a husband within a Blended Family.

Please as we go forward in this journey be patient with me, as I’m not exactly sure how this will be…a journal of sorts, chronicles of..etc, but we will start anyway because I feel a need to share some of the victories, painful defeats, present day struggles and resolutions to difficulties that come along with living with blended families.

My Blended Families “Disclaimer”

One disclaimer that I want to make sure any and everyone reading this understands….I’m Not A Licensed Professional in this area. I will not tell anyone what to do, I will only share and I hope we do engage a lot, I’m certainly looking for input and to some degree opinions. It’s a topic well worthy of much needed attention and discussion.

Today’s Blended Families Episode

How in the world (this is coming from a males perspective) do you remain fair to your step children as opposed to you own children? Trust me I know the easy answer to that question…treat them all the same! Show no partiality towards this one or that one whether they carry your blood/DNA or not! C’mon I get that in theory and even in spurts but can those of you who stand on the mantle of treat them all equally in blended families, honestly tell me that when you look at your blood and then look at your other children and not even on a intentional analysis type of thing. Just one day your studying your kids and in your heart of hearts is there a difference?

Should we treat this aspect of blended families like muscle memory when working out to build lean muscle, where we just work out and work on it until that aspect or muscle develops even when we see no apparent results from our efforts? This could be a difficult undertaking for members of blended families because like working out if you don’t have proper support and proper tools and in some cases environment then even the development of that relationship within blended families can become a source of angst.

When I say muscle memory it’s almost a fake it until you make it approach. Stay positive, be encouraging even when it’s the very last thing that you want to do. Even with proper intentions it’s been my experience that dealing with your spouses children can be a real challenge. You need to know what lines to cross and they (the kids) need to know as well. There needs to be emphasized support from the spouse, that shows a unified front that “we” are the parental board and “we” make the rules….otherwise it could and most likely will get ugly at some point.

I don’t want to paint this grimm picture of blended families but I want to express that with the times as they are more often than not a good percentage of those who will foster serious relationships will be involved with someone who probably has at least one child. So these are real dynamics that in a lot of cases aren’t to well thought out before hand. Blended families can be and are beautiful.

Even with all of the challenges I wouldn’t trade my family for anything. Blended Families are flavor packed!

So this was a toe in the water post to see if we could begin a possible dialogue on this mulch-faceted topic..let me know your thoughts and comments regarding blended families and this post.